9 Apr 2010 – 15 Apr 2010
Lately i have been thinking.
Did i forget something along the way?
Did i lost something without even realizing?
I knew something was missing, but i did not know what was it or where did i lose it.
So i started to look for something that i didn’t even know what it was.
I tried to recall the things that i would usually do in the past that i don’t do now.
I started to listen to my old CDs, play old games, watch old shows, tried to finish some of my old personal projects.
I even picked up my camera again.
But it was not the same, i knew i have yet to find it.
I still could not find what i had lost.
So i thought, maybe it was not the things that i used to do but the way i used to do things.
And soon it came to me that it was exactly it.
In the past, i could trust my instinct and follow it through.
Now i had to consult with others to see if my decision was correct.
And even after that, i would question it’s value.
I could not get over it, i knew i was not myself; that i’m not thinking by myself, for myself.
The me of yesterday would mock the me of today.
I don’t care when i lost it, i know i want to get it back.
I don’t know when, but i know this trip will bring me closer.
Wait for my return.
